this is why they are the professionals

For several years, my dentist has been telling me that my wisdom teeth should probably come out. My response has generally been Yeah, sure, as soon as I have an extra thousand dollars, I'll get right on that. I have also made much use of the I'm pregnant or I'm nursing excuses. To be honest, I kind of thought it was a scam - every person about my age that I know has been told that their wisdom teeth need to come out. Isn't there anybody whose wisdom teeth come in just fine, have plenty of room, and do not cause any trouble? I thought I was that person. They certainly seemed to have room, everything seemed to be doing okay. I reminded myself that as an adolescent, I was told I would probably need braces and should go see an orthodontist. I didn't, and my teeth are just fine. They are not perfect Hollywood teeth, but small children do not generally run away from me, even ones that are not mine. I figured the whole wisdom teeth thing was kind of like that, and I was shrewdly seeing through their evil corporate plot to yank money out of me, not to mention teeth. Plus, the dentist is scary.


Well, I am now preparing to hear a great big I-told-you-so, because the right half of my head feels like a size-9 foot squeezing into a size-6 shoe. I am mentally steeling myself for bruised, swollen cheeks, salt-water swishing, the possibility of saying something very rude while under the influence of nitrous oxide. The only thing I am kind of looking forward to is sending J to a restaurant to get two orders of mashed potatoes to go, like he did to me when he got his done. I was big and pregnant at the time, and not a few jokes were made that it's supposed to be the husband going out to get odd foods for the pregnant wife, not the other way around. People are comedians, I tell you.